


Old and Familiar Feelings

by sil_s



Category: Bumilangit Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2021-02-18 00:41:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21519088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sil_s/pseuds/sil_s
Summary: There's a new coffee shop across Ghani's apartment and it's owned by Ganda, his ex boyfriend.
Relationships: Ghani Zulham (Ghazul)/Ganda Hamdan, Ghazul/Ganda
Comments: 8
Kudos: 10





	1. An Unexpected Meeting

Ghani has been drowning himself in his laptop for weeks now. There are bags under his brown eyes and lines between his eyebrows from frowning too many times. Also, he’s addicted to coffee now. No, it’s not a phrase he uses because he enjoys drinking coffee, but his body and brain really refuse to function without a cup of coffee in the morning. 

The man massages his temples with his fingers, head is dizzy from the caffeine withdrawal. He felt sick yesterday and couldn’t bring himself to his favorite coffee shop which is 15-minutes-of-walking away from his apartment. He sighs, torn between staying in his room with a migraine or walking to get some coffee. 

Maybe it’s time to try the new coffee shop across the street, he thinks while staring out the window. It’s been there for at least two months now, but Ghani is a man of habits and he doesn’t trust new things easily. If it wasn’t for his migraine, he wouldn’t be crossing the street right now.

From the outside, he can tell the coffee shop looks nice. When he goes inside, the smells are all alluring from the coffee, also sweet from the baked goods. There is also a bookshelf as a room divider, a concept Ghani always finds interesting. 

“Ghani?” someone calls for him, interrupting his thoughts. 

His vision is a little bit blurry from the migraine and the fact he doesn’t like to wear his glasses outside work is not helping, but he is sure of what he is seeing in front of him. He sees Ganda. Ganda Hamdan. His ex-boyfriend. Ganda is standing behind the counter, wearing an apron. His smile is still as bright as Ghani can remember. Only now, there are thin lines on his face and thick beard along his jaws. 

Ghani steps closer to see more clearly; yep, it’s still Ganda. 

“Saya kira gak bakal liat kamu lagi,” Ghani says, because it’s still a surprise to see his ex-boyfriend in person after 6 years? 7 years? He’s not sure. God, he's getting old, isn't he?

"Sama," Ganda replies, his smile slightly dims, "masih suka _cold brew_?" 

While looking through the menu on the walls, Ghani hums. Ganda remembering his favorite type of coffee is something that he didn't expect before. But now, he doesn't want to admit that it feels nice. "Masih," he answers, hiding a smile, "ada?"

"Ada, dong," Ganda says proudly. "Ukuran apa?"

"Yang paling besar apa?" That makes Ganda chuckle. 

" _Large cold brew_ atas nama Zulham, ya?" Ganda takes a large cup in his hand and a marker in the other, ready to write the order.

"Ghani aja," Ghani stops Ganda from writing Zulham on the cup. He hasn't used that name in a while now, he kinda misses being called by his first name.

Ghani takes his wallet from his pocket and Ganda waves his hand. "Gak perlu, saya traktir," Ganda says, insisting. "Kamu duduk, nanti saya panggil."

Not in the mood for debating, especially when his head is pulsing, Ghani only answers with a 'thank you' then he goes to take a seat. His eyes scan the room, noticing the cozy atmosphere that lingers in the coffee shop.

"Atas nama Ghani," a voice calls for him, he can easily recognize whose it is. 

He gets up from his seat to take his coffee. He chuckles when he sees 'Ghani aja' written on his cup. "Haduh, selera humor mu, lho," Ghani says to Ganda who's already smiling at him. "Makasih, ya." He lifts his cup a little.

Ganda nods. "Langsung pulang?" asks Ganda, sounding hopeful.

"Iya, nih. _Deadline_ , lah, biasa," Ghani answers.

"Yaudah, hati-hati. Nanti-nanti ke sini lagi."

Ghani smiles a little. "Lihat nanti aja. Kalau saya gak balik, berarti kopi mu gak enak." Ghani and his clever remarks. A perfect duo.


	2. The Start of a New Habit

It's getting frustrating for Ghani. He's been sitting for two hours and nothing has come up to his mind. He still doesn't know how to put his imagination into words yet. "Bangsat," he curses as he closes his laptop almost harshly. 

Ghani walks to his bedroom and throws himself to the bed. He pulls the blanket over his head, trying to bury his frustration. Sleep comes to him like the falling of an axe. To be fair, he hasn't had his coffee and he had been staring at his laptop for hours.

Seems like a power nap was the thing Ghani needed all this time because when he opens his eyes, he feels a lot better. He opens the curtains to let the sunshine enters his room. Also, his skin needs it, he’s starting to look like a zombie, remembering how pale he is. 

While enjoying the warmth of sunshine embracing his body, he can see the coffee shop he visited yesterday. The coffee shop where Ganda works, it’s called Sweetbrew. Ghani chuckles. A catchy name, he thinks. But, maybe that’s why he decides to bring his laptop over there and continue his work in the coffee shop.

A warm smile welcomes Ghani as he enters the coffee shop. A smile that belongs to Ganda, who just had his beard trimmed. "Oh, masih ada orang di balik brewokmu itu, ternyata," Ghani jokes, stepping closer to the counter.

“Eh, kamu. Kopi saya enak, ya?” Ganda asks, a smug smile plastered on his face, considering Ghani’s last word yesterday. 

“Yah, lumayan,” Ghani lies, he actually really liked it, the taste was really familiar with the coffee he usually gets from his favorite coffee shop. Better, even. But, he doesn’t want to feed Ganda’s ego.

“Jadi, _large cold brew_ lagi, nih?” Ganda asks while wiggling his eyebrows. Without waiting for Ghani’s answer, he’s already writing the order on the cup.

Ghani nods. He takes out his pocket and before Ganda stops him, he says, “Jangan gratis terus, nanti saya keenakan.” Ghani hands Ganda a piece of money which Ganda takes reluctantly.

“Ya sudah, tapi nanti saya traktir kue.” Ganda starts preparing the order, but he can notice that Ghani is following him from outside the counter and machines, of course. “Kamu masih nulis naskah film, Ghani?” Ganda tries to open a conversation.

“Kok, tau?” Ghani asks him back, sounding curious. If he remembers correctly, the last time they kept in contact, Ghani had not told him about writing movie scripts. Even now, he has never told Ganda about that.

Ganda actually stops preparing for a moment just to look Ghani in the eyes. “Saya gak kudet banget kali. Sering ada namamu di internet,” Ganda answers then gets back making the order.

"Kalau kamu? Sudah lama kerja di sini?" Ghani is paying attention to the way Ganda so carefully prepares the coffee. He remembers how coffee was something that could make Ganda's eyes lit up just by talking about it.

"Dari awal kafe ini buka juga saya sudah di sini," Ganda answers while giving the coffee to Ghani. Then, he takes a chocolate cookie, wrapped in a plastic, and hands it to Ghani. "Ini dari kami."

"Kamu kasih saya gratis terus, nanti dimarahin bos mu," Ghani says, but he takes the cookie anyway. "Terima kasih, sekaligus jadi teman saya buat ngerjain naskah," Ghani continues.

"Bos nya baik, kok," Ganda defends. "Ya sudah, gih. Semangat, ya."


	3. On Track

It's the second time Ghani is not welcomed by Ganda's smile when he enters Sweetbrew. Instead, a man with 'Dirga' written on his card greets him. The man looks like he's in the mid 20s. 

The coffee still tastes good, but Ghani is a bit disappointed that it's not served by Ganda. He actually enjoys seeing a familiar face when he's deep in his working space, it calms him down a little bit. But, taking his coffee to the apartment and continuing his work there is not a choice he wants to make since his place is a mess and it stresses him even more.

The sun is going down and Ghani realizes that he's been sitting in this coffee shop for way too long. His mind is already everywhere and can no longer focus on writing the scripts. 

Ghani sighs as he closes his laptop. When he leans his back against the chair, he tries to look for Ganda behind the counter, but he's still not there. Maybe it's time for the man to go home.

"Mas," Ghani calls for the man behind the counter, Dirga, "Ganda masih kerja di sini, kan?" Ghani doesn't know why it matters to him.

The confusion is clear on Dirga's face and Ghani catches it. "Kan, emang bos kami, Pak," Dirga answers. "Kemarin-kemarin bilang gak bakal ke sini dulu, sih. Mungkin besok." 

"Oh, dia yang punya, toh?" _Bos nya baik, kok_. Ghani rolls his eyes at the memory. He didn't realize that Ganda was talking about himself. "Yasudah. Saya duluan, ya, Mas…" Ghani can't remember the name so he has to read the card again, "...Dirga."

* * *

Ghani Zulham is never comfortable with uncertainty. Like now, he's not sure why he's crossing the street, hoping he will find Ganda in his coffee shop. For the sake of a familiar face, he tries to convince. Convince who, really? Himself?

Without realizing much, Ghani smiles when he finds what he's looking for: Ganda. But, he notices how the man looks tired. Ghani decides not to bring it up. "Saya kira kamu sudah dipecat," Ghani says, looking around the coffee shop, "ternyata kamu yang punya." Now he's looking at Ganda.

Ganda hums. "Jadi, kemarin-kemarin ke sini terus, nih?" Without Ghani having to say what he wants, Ganda is already grabbing a cup and preparing the order.

"Tempatnya enak buat kerja," Ghani shrugs. "Sepi." The younger man doesn't need to worry that Ganda may take it seriously, it's just the way they joke around.

"Kerja apa?" Ganda asks, raising an eyebrow. "Gak bawa apa-apa juga." He points Ghani's hand with his eyes.

Perfect. Ghani forgot to bring his laptop here. He can simply go back to his apartment and come back to the coffee shop, but he's thinking maybe he deserves a little rest after forcing himself. 

"Sudah, kamu temenin saya makan aja," Ganda cuts before even Ghani had a chance to answer. He gives the coffee to the other man then serves a croissant and a sandwich into a plate. Ganda takes off the apron and walks out of his work space. Without saying anything, he takes a seat in the nearest table and gives Ghani a look that says 'come on, sit here.'

Ghani takes a seat across Ganda, accomplying. "Kamu hebat, Ganda," Ghani praises out of nowhere, he surprises himself. "Memang dari dulu mimpi kamu, kan? Buka kafe?" The coffee shop is not bad at all for Ghani. He really enjoys the warm atmosphere that the place has.

"Ya begitu, lah," Ganda shrugs like it's nothing but the younger man knows better and can recognize the sound of pride in those words. "Tapi, memang kadang masih sepi," he finally admits while taking a bit of his croissant. 

"Satu-satu, lah, Gan," Ghani comforts, sipping on his coffee. "Ini udah bagus banget, kok, dibanding kafe-kafe yang dulu kita datengin pas kuliah." He remembers how Ganda used to take him to various coffee shops for dates, but the older man sometimes ended up talking to the barista or the owner, asking them things, instead of talking to Ghani. He smiles at the memory.

"Iya, ya?" Ganda chuckles. He then pushes the plate towards Ghani, offering the food. But, Ghani stays still and Ganda doesn't want to push him. "Kalau kamu sendiri, gimana? Tiba-tiba jadi penulis naskah ternama," he diverts the conversation from him.

Ghani snorts at the last sentence. "Berlebihan kamu. Baru juga beberapa film," he defends.

"Tapi, kan, terkenal," Ganda argues.

The younger man can't argue back to that, so he decides to answer to that. "Sebenarnya, udah lama mau jadi penulis," Ghani tells the man. "Dari kuliah, saya udah suka nulis, tapi gak bilang siapa-siapa," he reveals, scratching his ear that's not itchy. "Takut sial kalau cerita."

Typical Ghani, Ganda thinks to himself, crossing his arms on his chest. He takes a deep breath then lets it out. "Berarti kita udah ada di awal dari sesuatu yang kita mau, ya," he ponders.

"Baru awal _banget_ ," Ghani adds, emphasising on the last word.


	4. Will You Remember?

"Mohon maaf, nih, Pak." The voice wakes Ghani up from his brief daydream and the warm hand on his shoulder makes him turn his head, it's Ganda. "Bentar lagi tutup. Masih mau ngerjain?" Ganda refers to the script that Ghani has been working on for a month and a half. 

It seems like Ghani has lost the sense of time. He looks out the window and it's already dark, but since when? His brows turn into a frown and his mouth gaps, not knowing what to say.

Recognizing the confusion, Ganda offers him a warm smile. The hand on his shoulder squeezes and it earns a groan from Ghani. "Kenceng banget bahu nya, Ghan," Ganda informs, placing both of his hands on Ghani's shoulders.

Ghani's eyes shut when the older man starts massaging his tense shoulders, he forgets how good Ganda is at this. He finally taps on Ganda's hand to stop him even though he enjoys it so much. "Makasih, Ganda," he thanks the man. "Sebentar lagi saya beres-beres, deh," says Ghani, sounding sorry.

Ganda takes the seat across Ghani. "Santai aja lagi," Ganda soothes the younger man. He leans his body forward, closing the distance between the two men. Ganda tilts his head to the side. "Kamu lagi mumet banget, kayaknya," he guesses. 

When Ghani only answers with a sigh, Ganda's lips curl into a smile and Ghani unconsciously mirrors him. Happiness is contagious sometimes, Ghani thinks, or maybe it's just because of the person who's smiling. He shakes his head at the thought.

"Minum, yuk," Ganda suggests, but there's doubt in his voice and Ghani can recognize it. It's not really hard to read, really. The man is probably just nervous asking his ex to hang out with him, despite the facade he puts on his face. From the way Ganda's hands fidget, Ghani knows he's right.

Ghani considers his answer for a little bit, but he knows that he might need a drink or two right now. His mind is all knotted and he needs to untangle it. "Boleh, dimana?" Ghani asks while packing the laptop into his bag.

* * *

It's been a long time since the last time Ghani entered a bar. He usually just buys the alcohol from the store and takes it to his apartment, drinking it all by himself almost pathetically. But now he's here with his ex, the person who dragged him to go to a bar for the first time back in the days. 

They're now sitting across each other, sharing a bottle of whiskey and catching up with one another. A lot of things have happened since the last time they saw each other, which is 7 years ago. 

But there's something that Ghani can't help to wait for Ganda to explain. Something he has noticed from more than two weeks now. It's the way Ganda fidgets; his fingers will reach for his ring finger and try to find something that's not there. The man isn't wearing any rings and Ghani remembers that he has never liked wearing rings.

"Saya boleh tanya sesuatu?" Ghani interrupts Ganda in the middle of the conversation. To be honest, Ghani isn't paying attention because he's too focused on Ganda's fingers.

Ganda tilts his head up and raise his eyebrows, giving silent permission.

There's a pause. Ghani is considering whether it's polite. But the booze makes him all loose and he finally decides to ask, "Udah berapa lama?"

"Apanya?" Ganda frowns.

"Cerainya," Ghani clarifies, looking at Ganda's fingers that are doing exactly what Ghani means. 

Ganda's eyes follow Ghani's stare and his brows raise at the discovery. "Oh," Ganda murmurs. He doesn't even realize that he's doing it. Must be a habit. Ganda takes a deep breath before leaning his back against the chair. His eyes are avoiding Ghani. "5 bulan, kurang lebih," he answers, almost choking on his words.

"Sekarang kamu gimana?" Ghani asks, leaning forward to take a closer look at Ganda. The sad look on Ganda face doesn't fit him and he just wants to wipe it away. "Gapapa?"

The older man doesn't answer right away. Instead, he ducks his head and looks down. His eyes are empty, Ghani assumes that his mind is somewhere else all of sudden and he understands. Now, Ghani can see Ganda is covering his face with his palm, leaning his face into it, and Ghani feels guilty for bringing up the topic in the first place, but he knows he can't take it back.

"Sama Rena," Ganda suddenly confesses, not answering the question. He braces himself to look at the man in front of him. Ghani is looking at him in concern.

Rena, Ganda's best friend since they were in high school. Of course Ghani remembers her, she was their third wheel most of the time. Now there are mental images of Ganda and Rena in his mind. Somehow, it upsets him. But, there's no time for that. "Saya baru tau kamu suka perempuan juga," Ghani replies lightly, tiptoeing around the conversation in case Ganda doesn't want him to dig deeper.

Ganda scoffs then proceeds to empty his glass in one gulp. His eyes shut when he feels the burn in his throat. "Sebenernya, memang enggak," Ganda answers. "Kita sama-sama tau kita menikah sebagai sahabat, bukan pasangan," he goes on, already filling his glass with more whiskey. "Tapi, ya gitu." He takes a sip. "Banyak yang bilang kalau nikah sama sahabat itu bakal lancar. Ternyata, gak juga."

It's strange to see Ganda being bitter about life, he's usually optimistic. Always has been. "Kayaknya nikah itu memang rumit. Saya juga belum berani," Ghani comments. Ghani has only had one serious relationship in his life and he's been avoiding commitments ever since.

"Tapi, saya gak nyesel," Ganda admits. He takes out his phone and shows Ghani his lockscreen. "Liat, deh."

At first, Ghani thought he was looking at a picture of Ganda when he was a baby, but the quality of the picture is too good to be an old picture. Also, it's a girl. Connecting the dots together, Ghani raise his eyebrows. "Anak kamu, Ganda?"

Ganda smiles in pride. "Akira, namanya," he informs. Ganda takes the phone back then smiles even wider when he looks at the screen. "Bulan depan genap setahun," he adds.

A baby. That's why Ganda sometimes looks tired even in the mornings. Ghani is happy for him. "Mirip kamu persis," Ghani says, smiling. "Semoga gak ngawur kayak kamu." That startles a laugh from both of them.

* * *

After seeing how hammered Ganda looks, Ghani decides to take him to Ghani's place, since he doesn't know where the other man lives. Also, all the words that come out of Ganda's mouth are in the forms of mumbles and murmurs. So, asking him about his address will be useless.

At times like this, Ghani is glad that he works out because it turns out Ganda is heavy. Ghani has Ganda's arm around his shoulders and Ghani's arm is around the other man's waist, guiding him to the apartment. 

"Kita ke kamar mu?" Ganda murmurs, half conscious.

Ghani only gives him a hum as an answer as he struggles to unlock the door. "Iya, kamu-" his words are stopped when he feels Ganda pushes him against the door once they're inside. Ganda's hand is firm on his chest as he leans in for a kiss. Of course, Ghani avoids it.

"Ganda," Ghani warns, trying to push him off. Ganda is strong, despite how uncoordinated his limbs are. Ghani now can feel warm breath on his neck and it makes him shudder, but he knows they can't do it, so he pushes Ganda harder. "Kamu mabok, Ganda."

Ganda whines, not giving up yet. If only he's not that drunk, maybe Ghani will follow his lead, but definitely not now. Ghani has to slap the other man's hand when he tries to unzip the jeans. Ghani uses stronger force to push him until Ganda almost falls to the back, thank goodness for Ghani's fast reflex.

Without looking, Ghani knows Ganda is not pleased when he leads him to the bedroom. Little does Ganda know, Ghani really wants to kiss him too, but the timing is just not right and Ghani is not an asshole. "Kalau udah gak mabok, besok boleh coba lagi," he says to the man while tucking him into bed. He knows the chance of Ganda remembering this conversation is really slim. Within minutes, Ghani can already hear the man snores peacefully. 

It is unfortunate that Ganda may not remember the whole night when the morning comes, but right now, sleeping beside him doesn't sound bad at all for Ghani. Not when he radiates warmth that Ghani always seeks for before going to sleep.


	5. The Morning

There's some shifting on the other side of the bed and it's enough to wake Ghani up. When he opens his eyes, there's a set of eyes looking at him deeply. If he says it doesn't make his heart beat faster then it's a lie. "Kenapa, Ganda?" Ghani asks, feeling irritated by the way Ganda is looking at him.

"Ini apartemen mu?" Ganda gives him a question in return. He looks sleepy and still a bit wasted from last night's drinking. But Ghani bets that he doesn't look any better.

Ghani tries to rub the sleepiness off his face with his palm. "Iya, saya gak tau rumah mu dimana sekarang," he answers. Ghani tries to sit up and leans his back against the pillows. He notices how Ganda's eyes suddenly widen. 

"Kita ngapain semalam? Kamu, kok, gak pake baju?" 

Ganda is full of questions, isn't he? However, Ghani prefers that over silence. The younger man sighs, the dizziness starts to come to him as he tries to stand up. Again, he notices how Ganda's expression changes when he sees Ghani is only wearing a boxer.

"Kamu, kan, tau saya tidur cuma pake gini doang," Ghani finally explains, already making his way to the bathroom. "Lagian, kamu kayak gak pernah liat aja, sih," he adds playfully. He smirks at Ganda before shutting the bathroom door.

* * *

"Tapi, serius," Ganda says while shoving the eggs Ghani has cooked for him, "semalam kita ngapain?" Ganda has always been persistent about something, a trait that sometimes Ghani adores. Other times? Not really.

Ghani takes a sip of his orange juice. He sighs, finally giving in to give the other man an answer. "Kita tidur." The ambiguity in his words is intentional. He snorts when he sees Ganda almost chokes on his food. "Tidur beneran, maksudnya," he clarifies.

"Cuma tidur doang?" Ganda asks again, raising his eyebrows. 

"Maunya ngapain hayo?" Ghani is teasing, he knows it. But, it usually works to shut Ganda up whenever he's feeling curious about things. It will turn Ganda into a blushing mess.

After years, it still does. Ganda only shakes his head with his face getting red while finishing his breakfast. It fascinates Ghani how 7 years did not change Ganda at all and he feels warm knowing that he still knows Ganda very well. He curses himself for even thinking about that, especially because he can't blame it on the alcohol just like when last night he thought about kissing Ganda.

* * *

"Saya naik taksi aja," Ganda says calmly.

"Gak mau. Saya antar," Ghani replies in determination..

"Naik. Taksi. Aja." It's been at least 5 minutes they've been arguing whether Ganda will head home by taxi or Ghani will drive him home. "Saya udah bikin kamu repot semalam," he argues.

Ghani is now crossing his arms on his chest, something he always does when his decision is final and he will let no one change his mind.

Recognizing the gesture, Ganda sighs. "Ya sudah," he says, giving in to Ghani. "Tapi, jawab saya dulu. Harus jujur." He looks at Ghani with warm eyes, he actually looks concerned. "Saya pas mabok gak ngapa-ngapain?"

An audible sighs comes from Ghani. He takes a seat in front of Ganda, but his eyes are avoiding him. "Semalam itu," he starts, "saya gak tau harus antar kamu kemana, jadi saya bawa pulang." His hand reaches for his neck, scratching the skin. "Kamu coba cium saya pas udah di sini."

Ganda's eyebrows form into a frown, he looks sorry. "Terus, gimana? Kamu tolak?"

"Iya, lah," Ghani answers, a little bit offended that Ganda had to ask him about that. He's now looking right into the other man's eyes. "Kamu itu ngomong aja gak bisa, mau cium-cium saya," he jokes.

That earns a grin from Ganda. Why is he grinning like that? It must be dangerous, especially when he leans his body forward. "Kalau saya coba lagi sekarang, kamu mau?"

Ghani chuckles, trying to hide how Ganda just twisted his organs with the question. "Mungkin," he answers. "Tapi, sekarang kamu belum mandi." Of course, that's a half truth. The answer is yes, but he's not ready for his heart jumps out of his chest yet. "Sudah," Ghani says, "siap-siap sana. Saya antar kamu pulang."

* * *

Ganda's house looks small in size, but it is really modern and has a lot of glasses. The theme is brown and green, from the wall and garden. Ghani would like to come in, if he didn't have a meeting in 2 hours.

"Nanti kamu ke kafe?" Ganda asks, sounding hopeful. They're by the door with Ganda is already inside and Ghani's feet are still outside.

"Sore, kalau sempat," Ghani answers while peeking a little to see the house's interior. It looks cozy. Ghani can already see a few toys that probably belongs to Ganda's daughter and he smiles at the thought of them playing together. He _really_ wants to get inside if he has the time and permission.

"Saya tunggu." Ganda takes a step forward and kisses Ghani on the cheek. 

Ghani is wondering how time works because he can feel it slows down since Ganda came closer. He can feel every millisecond of the kiss. Ganda's scent, his soft lips on his cheek, the warm hand on his arm, he can savour them all. He's going to put them all in a special place of his memory, for sure.

"Makasih buat semalam," Ganda says with a smile. 


End file.
